I’m tired. I toyed with adding a few more words to that sentence, but there really wasn’t a reason to do so, those two words perfectly sum up how I feel and have felt for a while now. Jesus knew how to take breaks. We find him doing so throughout the 3.5 years he was in ministry, at times going to a mountain to pray, at times pulling his disciples away, he knew the importance of recharging. Having said that I really get this scripture.
The verse says don’t get weary in doing good… the problem that I run into is recognizing doing good and just doing. I think this happens to a lot of people. We get so caught up in the daily grind of living, doing all the things that we are supposed to do, that the good that we can do gets lost in the shuffle. Even when we intend to do good, life can get in the way, and something we mean to do, or want to do either gets left un-done or is done poorly. Then comes the self-justification, or self judgment, these are the places I usually find myself. I justify a poor job because of the fatigue of being so busy, all the while looking at what I’ve done feeling terrible because I have failed to meet the needs or expectations of the people I’m serving.
I’m guessing most people read this the way I have in the past, with the idea of how easy it is to get tired of doing good things, or the right thing because it may not really make much of a tangible difference. We know in principle that Jesus tells people not to seek out recognition here on earth, that when we go for the accolades here we “have our reward.” That view is a nice neat sewn up easily understood and by some respects easily applied concept. I need to keep doing the right thing, the good thing, because the Bible says to, and if I want that reward when all is said and done to be as good as it can be I shouldn’t care if people don’t recognize my service, more for me in eternity.
Except as with most of what I now read and then pray about and then let work in me these day’s I have begun to see this one in a different light, given the context I find that the new light seems to fit more closely with what may have been intended.
When I am so busy doing all the things that “have” to be done, I tend to forget the things that should be done. I forget the good that should be done because no matter where he was, no matter what was going on, when Jesus saw a person who needed to be reached, he did it, he didn’t really pick the “right” people to do good to, he just did good. Be it a Samaritan woman with multiple husbands, a short tax collector who cheated people, a woman caught in “THE ACT,” a group of lepers, demon possessed men, a Centurions servant, you name it Jesus did good, in fact he never tired of doing good.
I do though, I know I’m supposed to do good, but when life gets in the way, and all the things I have to do come to mind, I give up the good thing, for the thing that needs my attention, but does that thing really need my attention? Don’t get me wrong I’m not advocating disregarding responsibility, sacrificing my family, and allowing myself to become an unhealthy blob with medical issues of my own making. Those things are equally as bad as not doing the good thing. What I am saying is that doing good, actively evaluating what I do when it comes to serving others is important, I need to be sure that the have to do’s in ministry don’t get in the way of the should do’s. But its more than that. I should also do good to my family, my body, and my spirituality.
If it follows that I reap good things in ministry when I do the right thing by those that need ministered to, I’ll reap good things when I spend quality and quantity time with my family, stick to my running plan and keep my caloric intake where it should be, and spend time in personal worship and study and reflection.
It’s hard though, especially when so many things must be done, when I feel like I can’t please anyone including God, and when all I see are more hills to climb. Even though I know that I can and do find rest in Him, there are times I would like that rest to last more than a moment.