What makes a person do the things that they do? J and I have been watching Catfish, we started with the movie the other night and then have watched whatever episodes are up on HULU. We like the show, I guess it’s true that everyone has a bit of the voyeur in them.
I have so many questions when watching this show. Along with why do people do what they do, goes the following:
How deluded can a person be?
How in the world could someone have a relationship based solely on text messages and instant messaging?
Does anyone realize the power of Photoshop?
How can you be so gullible?
How twisted are you?
How can you be so mean?
What were you thinking?
When we watch the show I tend to look over at J and have a huge feeling of relief. I have the person that I want to spend my life with. The cool thing is I have now spent more of my life with her than I have with my parents and those days and years will continue to grow. I am one of the lucky few. I realize this of course, every day. Still I have to admit that I’m glad I’m not out there. I am glad I don’t have to navigate the dating pool today. I am so glad to not have to worry about who’s real on Facebook and who’s not. I realize a few things. We didn’t always have smart phones, and yet I am not really sure what we would do without them at this point. They have become an integral part of our life. We use them for everything and it’s much easier to text each other, mainly because then I don’t have to try and remember what she told me to get, as long as my phone is charged I can just look down and say, “Oh yea, I was supposed to get Oranges too.”
I feel bad for people today in some ways. There really is no mystery when it comes to a person any more, no need to get to know them by talking to them, you can just Google them or find them on Facebook, and even if they are not who they say they are on any number of networking sites do a little bit more digging and you can find out who they really are.
I watch these people who have built up entire lives with a person even if they are thousands of miles apart, and I feel bad for them. They are missing out on so much. When your first date consists a pre-arranged Skype session there’s a problem. When the level of intimacy and the flirting consists of text messages instant messaging and sexting there, at least to me, has to be a disconnect. If the person that I “love” lives a thousand miles away and the only contact I have with them comes from a few pictures and some email I am missing out on the best part of getting to know someone.
I will never forget the first time J held my hand…We had come back from Christmas Break and were at North side Assembly in Lakeland for a Sunday evening service no less. It just happened. I was zinging the rest of the night, shoot I still zing when she reaches over and grabs my hand.
I guess what it means, at least to me, is that we were designed for relationship and we were designed for physical interaction and affirmation. I don’t really see that as possible when all you have is Facebook and text messages.
I am so glad that I found J and J found me before all of these things got in the way, because that really is what I think they do. They get in the way of a process that should be full of mystery, and excitement, and nervousness. It’s a rite of passage, or at least it should be.