Memories are very interesting beasts, allot can go wrong when you rely on memories, and a whole lot can go wrong when you choose to live in memories. It’s not all bad though. Sometimes memories are good things that can bring a smile to your face and a song to your heart… wow that sounded sappy sorry about that.
The thing that triggers memories for me more than anything would have to be music. Music has always been an important part of my life. From sneaking contraband cassettes into my room and listening to them clandestinely on my Walkman to blaring music in my Plymouth horizon and the slide out blaupunkt system that was probably worth more than the car, I always have something playing.
What really amazes me is that I can turn on my tablet and have tons of songs to choose from, there are 21415 songs on my ipod, Music is really important to me.
This week I’ve been listening to some of the music that I used to listen too as a teen. One very distinct memory is my buddy Ron and I riding down Belmont Ave toward my cousins house listening to The Allies. What has stuck with me are interesting side notes, We were listening to CD’s on a boom box. so yea you had to hold real still so it wouldn’t skip. It was a station wagon and he was using the cruise control to drive and made a comment about loving to drive with his thumbs. Who knows why those things stick with me they just do, and I’m sure he won’t remember those details but he may remember the car and I’m sure he remembers the music that we all listened too. Weather on the bus going to retreats, or in cars going to play lazertag at 2 AM or fill in the blank with any number of the things we did.
Of course those memories bring back even more memories, skating at champion roller rink, shouting at houses out the bus windows on youth outings, going to the dice family camp ground and swimming, the mall with my old best friend Nick who just is gone from my life.
I remember sitting in Perkins one night really late and this one girl looking around and saying that the railings reminded her of coffins. The snow storm that pretty much stranded a bunch of us at my parents house after skating one night. The Chevette that we road in slamming into the mountain of snow.
Sometimes when I look back at those times I remember that I liked the Aaron that was friends with those people much better than the Aaron that went to YCS. The Aaron that went to YCS was self conscious, and really felt like he didn’t fit with any one group or another. I wanted to be popular, I wanted to be respected, but I always felt like I didn’t measure up. My other life though the one with Nick and Ron and all of them that was the life that was the real Aaron, I had confidence, I would talk to people, I didn’t care what people thought of me.
It’s strange I was that Aaron with Nick and my them, I was that Aaron at Camp but when I hit school in September I just became this other person who was self conscious and felt like the odd man out. I remember resolving when I went to college to be the second Aaron from the beginning, and it worked, I was more social, had more friends, had less fear. I was confident and enjoyed life. I didn’t really care what others thought of me and in having that attitude people that wouldn’t have given me a second look in High School were the people that I was friends with in College, but not just them I was friends with a wide swath of people.
I guess Oldies and Goodies can be fun they can be entertaining, they can also be sad because when you are 38 and you feel once again like that kid that was in high school well. That’s just sad.
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