Fear and Loathing in Las Cassas

I have always wondered what causes nightmares.  I know that in my life I’ve had my share of things that should or would cause them.  It’s been a long time since I have had any real nightmare to speak of.  Cue creepy music and rainy night.  Monday night I had what can only be described as the worst nightmare in the world.  Someone knocked on our door and when I answered it they came in went upstairs told Amberly to pack her things and just took her.  They said that this was how it had to be and that we may get to see her again they just weren’t sure.

I woke up and couldn’t go back to sleep.  I went over and checked on her and kissed her cheek and just couldn’t go back to sleep. 

It’s strange that some dreams a person can remember and some dreams just leave.  There have been times in recent months that I have apparently gotten awake and sat bolt upright.  J will comment on occasion when this happens, and while I’m pretty sure I can pinpoint the cause of the action and can even say it must be a bad dream, it’s all foggy and I can’t really articulate what was happening,  I just have this vague anxiety about things from before and I end up back in the past somewhere and well it just jerks me awake and I have to make sure that she’s there and all that.  The thing about it is those dreams are nothing,  they are handled by me and by J helping me through it.  This thing with Amberly was totally different and I was completely bereft when it happened. 

I wonder too why we have dreams, what causes them, are they as scrooge put it just a bit of beef or underdone potato or is there something more.  I have a hard time distinguishing,  I wonder how some people can take their dreams as gospel when I take them as some Bachmanesqe tale of the macabre.  Points to anyone who can get that allusion. 

What’s the point of blogging this you may say?  Perhaps it’s an exorcism of sorts,  getting the bad dream out and exposing it to the light of day and the ears of others,  that whole shared burden experience.  It could also just be that I am trying to find some way of connecting the dots and I am interested in what others think about bad dreams and what their remedies are.  Or it could just be that it was such a disturbing dream it had to be put on the screen so that I could then toss it in the trash can and hear the satisfying sound that only comes after being asked if I’m sure I want to empty the trash.

Well dear reader I hope you enjoy your day, they say we may get Snow in the DC Metro area.  I’m crossing my fingers.

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