Thrilling Failure

I love rollercoasters, nothing beats walking through the gates of an amusement park in the middle of the summer, the smells of hot asphalt, cotton candy and fried foods, laughter, shrieks of fear that almost always end in laughter.  Standing in line watching the ride you’ve chosen climb that first hill hearing the click of the chain as it pulls the cars to the precipice.  Great fun, great times.

I love the feeling of a rollercoaster, the utter and complete abandonment of all things sane, giving up your freedom to the harnesses and belts and cocoon of a car.  Some coasters are loud and jerky, especially the old wooden ones some are smooth and almost silent, loops, curves, hills, and spirals some even going backwards.  Yep I sure do love rollercoasters.

Funny thing is that while I love rollercoasters I hate the rollercoaster that has been our life for the past five years.  Of course I take full responsibility for the place we are in.  Mistakes are just that mistakes, when we make choices in life we have to live with the consequences, just like standing in line for a rollercoaster is a choice so our actions are a choice.  What can be fun at an amusement park can be pretty devastating in real life though.  I wish I hadn’t gotten in line for the rollercoaster we find ourself on but there is nothing for it, we are on the ride and as we all know when we get on a ride and the bar comes down and the belts are buckled there isn’t much you can do but hang on.

So here we are.  Riding the rollercoaster.  Tonight I have an interview with a church in Potomac, children’s and family ministries.  Who knows what will happen, I’ll go and see what’s what.  I don’t hold out too much in the way of hope but it’s possible right, at least I used to think so.

I also have an interview over Thanksgiving at a company in Ohio, and there is a church there looking for a Children’s Pastor.  Wow would we love to have that door open,  It’s in the same city where we own a house,  It’s a contemporary church and we could really fit in.

I just hope that whatever it is I’m supposed to have learned and whatever it is my family is supposed to have learned has happened.  There are so many things that I could list when it comes to the things that have been pounded into me in the past five years, and if you really cared to you could go back and read one of the many posts that show those things.

The big difference between amusement park rollercoasters and the rollercoaster we find ourselves on right now is simple.  When I get off a rollercoaster at any given park I try and find another one that will give me at least  the feeling I just had, and hopefully find one that will give me more of that adrenaline scare.  When I finally get off the ride we’re on, I have no plans to get back in line, or to even look for another ride.

The title suggest that failure is thrilling, in all actually there is no thrill in failure.  Just a lot of sadness and reflection.

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