Putting your behind in the past.

Amazing the wisdom that comes from the mouths of an animated wart hog.  Most people would say he got it wrong,  the idea of putting your past behind you seems to be so much better than putting your behind in the past.  I got to thinking about this over the weekend though.  I was at home and cleaning up looking for some papers and getting the living room at least in some semblance of order.  Of course I found stuff from three and four years ago, the past came screaming to the front of my brain.  It wasn’t a bad thing necessarily just made me miss people and the life that was.  The time with others that shared the same beliefs, and that liked to hang out and that just were all around nice people. 

I have deleted people from my life, at least digitally, and have been attempting to do the same thing emotionally and psychologically, and for the most part I am pretty successfull in that endeavor, at least for a time,  then a picture or a card or something from someone from back then crosses my path and I think about how much they meant to me, or I remember the last thing that we did, or the last thing that was said.  I remember how important they were and how it was so great to be in a place that had a great community. 

Sometimes these little trips down memory lane serve to depress, but not this time.  This time there was regret, a saddness that there is no longer any realtionship.  This past weekend I sat my behind in the past and didn’t get angry or angsty or anything like that.  I just was sad but the good kind of sad.  The kind that makes you realize that your human after all.

I wonder if this is how God feels sometimes.  Regret that humanity in general has activly chosen to step away from what is offered.  I wonder if he ever regrets the discipline, does he ever wonder what if I had gone a different direction with the whole kicking them out of the garden thing.  I wonder does he ever feel sad that he had to watch his son die, that the creation actually took on the creator and just like a rebellious child said, “you can’t make me,” and is that winning.  Ultimately is that the end of it?  Humanity gets to make their choice, and all God can do is watch. 

Does God ever sit his behind in the past and say what if?  Or where would we be if? 

I don’t want to paint a picture of a week wishy washy God, on the contrary,  I am trying to paint a picture of something so much more.  I am painting a picture of a God that so loved and cared for the creation that was fashioned that sitting down in the past, and the present and the future,  and looking at the beginning middle and end all at once, decided that the best course of action was to show humanity what it would take, and realizing that while some of us would be rebellious and say “you can’t make me,”  a bunch of them would answer differently, a bunch of them would say, “hey put me back to the way I was designed, I know the road is going to be hard, I know that some things are going to go my way, and some things aren’t,  I know I’m going to make huge mistakes, and I’m going to disappoint you, but I also know that there will be times when you will not be disappointed,  when you will look at me and laugh at me and with me, times when you will let me cry on your shoulder, and times when you will shed a tear,  times when you will once again step in and give me what I need or want instead of what I deserve, and even times when you will allow the choices I have made to play out to their natural consequence so that you can have my undivided attention, and so that I can have yours. 

Ultimately that’s what it’s all about, at least that’s what I think it’s all about.  Making time to give God our undivided attention and then basking in His.

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