I have written countless posts detailing the rise and fall of my illustrious career. I have berated myself, done the mea culpa thing, worked out my salvation, showed my frustration, shared my depression and angst and anger.
I think it’s safe to say that I have frightened some people, especially when it concerns my eternal soul. Rest assured it is pretty much as safe as any eternal soul can be. I mean really we do have to take it on faith that those of us who claim Christianity are right and everyone else is wrong, a prospect that I will have issues with until the day I’m not looking through a glass darkly any more. I am equally sure that some of those same people that are concerned about the state of my relationship with God are going to be up in arms about the above statement. To you lovely readers I say deal with it. I am very secure in the fact that, I am on good speaking terms with God and that I like checking out what the Bible has to say on a regular basis. No need to fear for me just because I express questions. Sometimes I wonder if the reason so many people are so worried about those questions is because they have them too, how could you not.
See I tend to think that God likes it when we have questions because as I’ve said before and as I’lll continue to say it simply means that I am going to dig deeper and try and learn and grow and know more of God. Thats what its all about as far as I can tell. Relationship with God.
I have also said that it is time to move on and get going into whatever is the next phase of our life. I have to tell you that’s one of the most difficult things that I have to do. See I’m good at the whole church thing, very good at a big portion of it and now that I have perspective and the realization that it’s not only okay but a good thing that I can ask for help and that the other people put into place in my life are there to make up what I’m bad at, well sky’s the limit. The thing is even with that realization I know that the whole youth pastor thing may likely never happen again, a very sad thing because, again as I have said I’m really good at it. It’s like I was built to work with youth and young adults.
We have some interesting opportunities coming up and I want to be sure that we are truly open to what could happen. Still I have to say there is a big part of me that would love to just get a job working with people that need help and bury the gifts and talent’s that I have been given. Now to all my lovely friends who do the whole Biblical study thing I know that you should not allegorize or attempt to proof text things, and I know that the story of the talent’s was not about things we are good at but about money and faithfulness, I kind of feel bad about the whole idea.
Here’s the question, when God gifts you in certain ways and when He calls you to something, is there a statute of limitations?
I know that the Gifts and callings of God are without repentance, but a couple of years ago I had a similar question and I came to the conclusion that while God doesn’t take the calling or the ability away, it is possible for the human giving that gift and calling to mess it up so much that they can not really be used in that area ever again.
As I sit in Burger King with what is fast becoming two years later, I find myself re-evaluating that statement. Here’s why.
2“Speak softly and tenderly to Jerusalem,
but also make it very clear
That she has served her sentence,
that her sin is taken care of—forgiven!
She’s been punished enough and more than enough,
and now it’s over and done with.”
So see this is the thing I read that the other day and have been on a pretty regular basis and what I have realized is that it was for me. At least at this time and especially when I am thinking of all that is going on lately, God says it’s time for me to stop using the past as an excuse and to be open to whatever he has, if it’s pastoring fine, if it’s school fine, if it’s selling perfume out of the back of the car, well thats fine too it’s whatever he wants not what I think…
Hope this helps someone else.