Last night we took the girls to the Library and to the mall for ice crème. I know you may wonder why the mall for ice crème but there are two reasons for that. One is that we know where that Dairy Queen is and they had a sale on Blizzards, buy one get one for 25 cents. Second was there is a play place there that the girls can run around in.
I like taking them there with J, it gives us time to talk about the day without the addition of comments and questions from the rug rats. There has been so much going on lately. So many big decisions to make. So much to think about and I must confess to worry about. I know I’m not supposed to worry but I do. I can’t help it. I have this person who gets me and who is a great mother, and a great friend, and someone that I just love and I just worry about her. It makes the days hard and sometimes I wonder how much more we will have to face. How much more we will have to go through.
When you are raised in church one of two things can happen, you can embrace the religion of your parents whole heartedly and become them, or you can grow to question some of the things you always took for granted, sometimes you can even resent the harsh reality that is the real world and get angry that it doesn’t fit into the cookie cutter formulae that you were given as a child. See with kids you can tell them thing tell them how to do things and what to say and what to do and well they will just do it. Case in point, last night at the mall I told the girls to say “bow chica wow wow. They both did, in fact continuing most of the evening off and on saying that. I said do it they did it. I went to church with my parents it was what we did. There was no question, there was no choice it’s what you were supposed to do.
The problem with this way of living, is that eventually you have to start living and doing things on your own. You have to take the things that you were given, the tools of life and faith and belief and put them together for yourself.
This is again illustrated by Zoey. For months we have been trying to get her to walk up the steps with alternating feet. She is supposed to do this that. We hold her hand and say this that this that, you can tell it drives her nuts but she will do it usually. Then came today she initiated this that on her own. Told me to hold her tag (blanket)and said I’m doing this that. She had taken what we have been giving her or trying to and was making it her own.
Relationship with God is something that people can’t do en mass nor can they just rely on the fact that they know about God or know what they are supposed to believe. They have to build their own relationship with God. This may fly in the face of the idea of Grace to some, and I know that there is a whole group of people that will tell me that it’s impossible for humanity to earn their own salvation. I agree with that I’m not talking about being good enough to get in. I am talking about the part of our relationship with God that we are responsible for. The continued connection after the initial salvation experience. The walking each day in the path that God has for you. That is the hard part of things, especially when it would be so much easier to have him just tell us where to go and what to do, but what kind of relationship is that?