Meh

Amazing how three little letters can sum up the way you are feeling, or not feeling at this point.
So much has been going on and I’m just tired.

I am not sure what normal looks like for us. See I had an idea of what life was supposed to be, and I have to tell you that by the time I was 36 I expected to be in a very different place, instead I feel like we have to start all over again, and I feel like it’s my fault. Like if I had been better and closer and more of the man God wanted me to be and less the guy that has to control things then God could have used me for more that I would be where I am supposed to be and my family would be better off for it.

I asked on my face-book status what normal was well I’m really not sure what normal is any more. I know what I thought it was, I just pray God will allow His normal to be here soon and that we are willing to walk those steps.

4 responses to “Meh

  1. Normal is completely overrated. better to be “extraordinary” or at least “flexible”.
    i also prefer not to see your current circumstances as a matter fault–i truly believe that God puts us in difficult situations for one of two reasons:
    1–He/She/God wants to show us our own strength by putting obstacles in our way
    2–He/She/God wants us to grok the altruistic and inherent worth of those around us by putting us in a position such that we must rely upon the good will and strength of others.
    so which reason applies? God would not be mysterious if i knew.

  2. Go for Well Balanced! I used to say I wanted to be normal after being in the hospital this past summer. I was a wreck physically and mentally. I wanted to know when the pain and trial would go away. Now I don’t want to go back to the person and the way I was before the journey. Through Christ, I strive to be well balanced physically, emotionally, relationally, mentally, spiritually, and professionally. I can tell when issues come up in any one of those areas. It doesn’t just affect that area it tends to affect them all too some degree. I try to find the root cause and work on it to restore balance. Rely on the Lord to reveal what and how you should restore HIS balance to you.

  3. I totally agree with Danielle…don’t know her but…that’s exactley how I feel. Strive for a balance. I also think because we are trying to serve God and do his will be are more prone, should I say to pain and trials. I’m speaking from expierence!!! Just when I think things are going good….boom somthing happens!!!

  4. Hey Aaron, I read your post and found something very interesting. The same devil that lies to me has been lying to you too.
    Quote: “Like if I had been better and closer and more of the man God wanted me to be and less the guy that has to control things then God could have used me for more that I would be where I am supposed to be and my family would be better off for it. ” endquote.
    I thought that on more than one occassion. God loves us Aaron and accepts us for the messed up wad of clay that we are. He takes us, one day at a time. And when we think we’re not where we’re supposed to be, we have to (as the word says) be content in all things.
    Aaron, I think it’s because we have such high aspirations that we can’t see ourselves flying any lower than, up above the clouds. I look at Billy Graham and secretly judge my life by him. I look at Reinhard Bonkhe and secretly judge my life by him. I look at so many other men of God and still end up judging myself by them. I should be this, I should be that…NO! I should trust in God that he has me right where he wants me and where I should be is ultimately in His hands.
    Be all you can be in your now. Tomorrow never gets here and yesterday’s a spent check. We only have our NOWs. God knows your heart to be more. He put that desire in you. You’re still in the potter’s hands. And when you get out of the kiln… it’s back to the pounding. Then into the fire, etc. etc. etc.
    Biblically, when we all get to heaven, we will have forgotten this life, all the things we went through down here. In eternity we won’t have on remembrance of any of this life and the fires we go through.
    Be strong Soldier of the Lord, one day at a time… Much love in Christ,
    Christopher

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