J and the kids went to see her parents this past weekend. Which is great it was actually my Valentines gift from J. I was getting a little frazzled living in the world of kids shows, and Barbie, and painting and coloring. I love my kids but after a while you crave some solitude and talking to big people who’s voices are not so shrill.
Being a stay at home dad is not the easiest thing to do. I’m pretty excited about the prospect of working at a homeless shelter. It’s a great time 3-11 allowing us to not have to pay for care for Zoey and still allowing me to feel like I’m contributing. I’ll feel useful again, not that I think that taking care of my kids is not useful, it’s been great in some respects, a child that was just not sure of me has really grown closer to me and I really do love that.
So what does J being gone with the kids and me hopefully getting this job with the shelter have to do with the idea of usefulness. Simple.
While they were gone I took the time to do a good clean of things, something that is hard to do when Z is there, mainly because she rips it up faster than I can put it together, in fact as she has been finding herself these past few weeks it’s been harder and harder to do things that I am used to, blogging is not really that easy because it’s a constant play date for her. So how am I blogging now? McDonalds Play Land. She is up in the tree house and I am typing away. It works.
While I was cleaning I came across a cutting board. Now this is not an ordinary cutting board. It’s one that we were given by J’s step father several years ago. Hand crafted, beautiful looking wooden cutting board. We have had it for several years and we have never used it as a cutting board. It takes up space it looks nice but thats it, it was designed for one thing and it’s useless.
I wonder how many humans have this same issue. We are designed for something specific but we are not doing it, I don’t mean the whole designed for relationship with God and not doing it I’m talking about something a bit more specific. I’m not sure I would call it calling or whatever but it happens. It has happened to me and to others I am sure. So what do you do with that. The cutting board gets moved from surface to surface and we say how nice it looks but thats it, the most that has happened is that I have baked bread, cut the bread, and then put it on the cutting board already cut to serve because the board looks so nice. I don’t think thats what God wants us to do though. I think he wants us to be what we were designed for, and when we mess up he wants us to fix it or to help us fix it and try and figure a way to do what we were designed for again. The problem isn’t God the problem is us. I know this and who knows what comes next. I just know that it’s all about Salt and Light and when I was a stranger you let me in and working for a shelter really fits that.
For what it’s worth I still think I would be a great youth pastor, I know how to do it and I have learned so much but I also think that there comes a time when because of circumstances we can’t be what we are we have to be what we must be.